Just Play

Today is our last full day of inspiration and conversation. Not much tangible work is getting done on my part but there's a whole lot of thinking and processing going on. Perhaps it's part of the aging process or the maturing artist process or both but I no longer want to sew until midnight or even in a workroom situation. I prefer to absorb the inspiration, take it home, and work through the learning curve in my own space which means my mind is buzzing with ideas for later.

I had two goals this year. One was to learn about stamping and stenciling. Above, I've added blue and silver stencils to a strip of the hand dyed knit that I'll now turn into cording to use as a second "chain" along with the...

... knitted "chain" which I decided was too one-dimensional so I dabbed it with a  bit of black paint - and over dabbed - and had to rinse out - and am now waiting to dry - and have decided to finish at home - LOL - although I may knit another length today in case this one can't recover from my oops.

The other goal was to learn how to piece fabric from fabric in a flowing, more three dimensional way that's a step up from the flat piecing I've done in the past. I've made a start and again would prefer to work on this at home.

Diane has several large pieces of fabric made from fabric that she encouraged me to play with and drape over the mannequin. As you move the fabric this way and that, it begins to speak to you and images appear that are very exciting to work with and hard to describe. What I recognize is the energy. I call it not knowing. It's the one where I'm creating a mystery object that is slowly revealing itself choice by choice.

Stencilling and stamping are not new to me. I've done them before. Neither is making fabric from fabric although this flowing way is a new twist to work through. The difference now is that I'm ready to add these elements to my work, to make time for them.

The common denominator in everything I've learned is play. I won't get better at stamping or stenciling or making fabric or draping until I spend a lot more time stamping, stenciling, making fabric, and draping. And I want to. Another important part of our maturing process - I believe - is giving ourselves the time, space, energy, and supplies needed to create and permission to simply go into the studio and play. You don't have to make anything. Just play.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a playground

Only For You

I woke up at 4:00 this morning and after a half hour of trying to get back to sleep turned on the fire, opened the windows to the morning light, made a pot of coffee, and stayed in bed reading my study, journal writing, praying on paper, reflecting. Sometimes when we're travelling, our regular routines go by the wayside. I find I have a much better holiday if I maintain "me" time.

At lunch yesterday, one of the women shared that the first time she heard Diane speak, she just sobbed because she knew she'd never be that creative. It wasn't like that for me. After listening to Marcy and Diane share in the opening session, I felt weepy because I know I am that creative and because I want to bridge the gap between where I am now and what I'm capable of creating. 

Last night, I didn't feel like going out to eat or being part of a group and instead had a picnic on the porch. What you can't see in the picture above is the stream tucked into the long grass. Its lovely musical sound mixed with...

... the wind in the pines was soothing and peaceful. My gift to myself this holiday is space. I'm not sharing a room and I'm taking as much time as I need to be alone. I sat and reflected on the day and on my conversation earlier with my husband. You would think at my age that I'd have learned by now not to make plans. I still do but luckily, I have also learned the importance of flexibilty.

A message I received yesterday was only for you. The words were clear; the intent not so clear. It could mean I am to create only for me in the sense that the final product is to be mine or it could mean that I am to create only for me in the sense that I am to follow the tickles of my heart and ignore any other issues... like selling... or exhibiting... or pleasing others on any level... or making money or... Howard's take on it is for me to focus on what I want to learn and create and see where that leads and to let go of any other thoughts. It's so wonderful to have that support especially in light of the fact that his union is taking a strike vote on Wednesday.

My big ah ha of a few weeks ago - that I dislike clutter on my clothing - has clarified directions for me as have my thoughts around transferring the ways in which I worked with textile art to creative clothing. Things are clicking. That's exciting.

Above is a scrap of the very dull grey fabric used a few months ago to muslin blouses. I've added shades of black lines by stamping off the edge of a torn sheet of paper. Next, I'm going to learn about stenciling and then decide if more layers will be added. And then... after that... I'll learn how to piece fabric from fabric, a method Diane uses extensively and one that is reminiscent of my textile work. Hopefully - if all goes well - the end result will be a garment of some kind.

I've started to ask myself if this was one of my art pieces what would I do next? The answers are interesting. With this particular piece, I might keep the developing fabric monochromatic and then add punch to the seams - like lime green top stitching. It tickles. We'll see.

In between talks and demos, I started knitting the yarn made from cut up yardage. I'm creating a five stitch I-cord and the knitted length is firm and slightly spongy but not stretchy. It has possibilities for jewelry even as I am once again wondering what making jewelry will mean in my life.

A few people commented that they saw my purple lace dress on Marcy's blog only I was sitting down. Here's the full view. I had Gayle take some pictures Sunday night and she had me laughing so hard that my face is red. I didn't know I only colored from the neck up - the things you learn about yourself - LOL. You can also see my I'm mostly happy with it new hairstyle.

The dress feels wonderful on and received a lot of compliments. This is the pattern I brought along in case I feel like sewing another dress. It's a lengthened version of Katherine Tilton's Vogue 8691. I added 21".

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - even though I don't know the destination, I know that God is with me every step of the journey and that I can move forward with confidence. I'm intrigued just as I'm unsure what only for you means but I know that it is both healing and empowering.

A God Thing

Driving down the I5, over the bridge, and into Portland, I noticed the turn-off to the airport. Last year, I stayed in a hotel near the airport and drove from there to Fabric Depot four times. I have a really good sense of direction and from my spot on the bridge, I knew how to get to Fabric Depot and that it was less than a ten minute drive. If you're as addicted to fabric as I am, you know the supreme self-control and discipline that was required to keep driving. Luckily, I did not give into my jumping, dancing, frenzied, demanding brain that attempted to rationalize by saying I would "just look". Yes. Right. And pigs fly ! ! !

Including the border, the detour for the bridge collapse, the detour on the detour, an accident, and road work, it took nine and three quarter hours to make it from home to the hotel in Oregon City. I was totally shocked to wait half an hour at the border at eight in the morning. Those people were supposed to be in bed and I was supposed to drive straight through. Apparently, I'm not the only early bird - LOL.

Detours are interesting things. They both take you out of your way and into new adventures, places you've never been before and may never go again but you'll have learned something from the experience. Like making a mistake... with your art... or otherwise.

A few weeks ago, when I cleaned the kitchen, I put a cup of my son's in the donation box. IMHO it was an incredibly ugly cup, he hadn't used it recently, I doubted he'd even miss it, and I didn't want it taking up space in the cupboard any longer. The box sat in a visible location for weeks and he never said anything. On the 6th, Howard and I dropped it off at Value Village. On the 14th, my son went looking through the cupboards for his cup and when I said it was gone, I could tell he was upset even though he said it was okay. It wasn't. When I followed him to his room, he was trying not to be angry with me but was obviously having a difficult time. It turned out that the cup had significant sentimental value I hadn't known about.

It was 100% my fault. I was completely in the wrong and did not have the right to donate something of his simply because I did not like it. I would not have appreciated that happening to me. I knew better. I did bad. It all makes sense in retrospect and at the same time it was one of those horrible learning curves we benefit from greatly.

He was so upset that I ended up an emotional mess. I had to do something to make it right so I called a woman I know - Connie - who works at the store and asked her what could be done. Since it had only been a week, she said the cup may or may not be on the floor yet but wouldn't have left the building unless it was discarded. I know Connie from church so I asked her to pray that I found the cup... and I called my husband and asked him to pray... and my son... and my daughter... and then I went down to the store and looked in the kitchen wares... and looked again... and looked again... and I didn't see it. I was getting more and more upset until I realized that I didn't see any of the cups we'd donated.

Walking up to one of the clerks, I told her I had a problem and she turned to me with such caring and concern that I promptly burst into tears at which point she went to find Connie who then said she'd need permission from the manager to allow me into the back. I was standing at the no unauthorized personnel beyond this point doorway waiting for the manager when I looked over at the stacks of items. My heart sunk.

The donations are boxed and placed in large rolling carts at least six feet deep, by eight feet wide, by six feet high. There were six or seven rows of carts, five or six carts deep. Knowing it was 100% my fault and not being able to fix the pain I'd caused was making me so emotional that I barely managing not to break out in huge sobs in the middle of the store and then I noticed one row, with only one cart, with a white box in the bottom row, facing toward me, that looked like it had a plastic container in it. My box had a plastic container in it and that box looked exactly like MY box.

When the manager arrived, I explained the problem, pointed to the cart, and said but I think that's my box. She walked over, felt the top of the box to confirm it was a plastic container, and allowed me to come into the room to identify the box. It had my husband's writing on the side so she moved all the other boxes from on top so I could look inside. With a hopeful heart, I reached down, lifted up the plastic container, moved some pot holders, and there was my son's cup, intact, not broken, retrievable. This is a God thing.

The pictures above were taken on the drive between Salem and Sisters, Oregon. The scenery varies greatly from lush growth, to lava rock from a long ago eruption, to the remnants of a forest fire, and finally to dust and dry pines. There's history, change, choices, growth, and evolution along the route. It reminded me of how we move through life, the experiences we have, and how they change us.

In the past several months, I've been experiencing tremendous amounts of synchronicity and divine intervention. It's exciting. It's scary. Even though I found the cup, I was extremely emotional for the rest of the day which tells me that I'm not totally healed yet even though I am MILES beyond where I was before. I can tell that God is leading in new directions. I'm curious to see what this retreat has to do with that leading - anything, something, something significant. I don't know. I do know that I have continued to learn all year from those five day last June and that I'm anticipating a similar - but not identical - experience.

And now... on a totally different topic.

Here are the rompers that my daughter sewed for her son. I'll admit that I am totally biased but I'm also experienced in teaching sewing and being around sewists of all levels. When Jessica suggested doing the top stitching in another color and said stitching it evenly around the edge was no big deal, I shouldn't have discouraged her because she literally sat down, stitched it evenly, and that was that - something simply accomplished that I know many long term sewists are still fearful of. I sent her home with corduroy for another pair of rompers and a pattern for a bunting bag since grandbaby is tired of being swaddled and needs new covers.

This was the first time my daughter had sewn in twelve years. It's an experience I've been waiting for for a really long time and one that I'm glad came at a time when I am a much more accomplished and patient teacher. That could only have helped. I loved sewing together. I hope she continues. She's a natural.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - cups found

Potential & Possibility

One more sleep and I'll be on my way to the workshop. The longest drive is tomorrow. I'm spending Saturday night in Oregon City and having coffee with a blog reader - Brenda. Sunday will be leisurely. It's a three hour drive from the hotel to the retreat center and I don't need to be there until mid afternoon.

Unfortunately, my daughter and grandson both have a cold so I'm taking vitamins like crazy and praying hard that I don't get sick. After waiting a whole year to attend again, sick seems like a waste but something will work out. Prayers appreciated.

While packing, I came across this pendant that I made last June using a heat gun and Fosshape. It has great potential as the focal point in a necklace. I'll work with it more when I get back. While I'm at the workshop, my focus will be on....

... dyeing, stamping, stenciling, and painting possibilities. I've packed three different batches of scraps to explore. The idea is to try surface design techniques on the scraps and then turn them into binding, piping, or cording or into bits & pieces scarves where the flaws and learning curve will be less visible. I've also packed the dress length version of Vogue 8691 and some knit yardage to make it with.

Along with the design board, I'm taking this necklace bought several years ago. The components are cheap and cheaply strung but the design intrigues me. I've decided to begin developing textile necklaces by working in series because I like the way series work allows you to build one idea on another. The starting inspiration is this necklace and the starting point is a circle. I want to look at the different ways to create, join, and break up a circle made from textiles.

This image is of the four boxes and three bags of zero waste scraps I've saved over the past year since the last workshop. It's to remind myself of the potential and possibility that exists within my own stash and to illustrate that even though this has been a rough year financially and I'm travelling with limited funds, I am coming home to plenty of opportunities. YES YES

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - zero waste and stash possibilities

Delightful

This is not the week for sewing in the studio. At least not for me sewing. It is however...

... absolutely delightful to be sharing it with my daughter. We've been working on the overalls in small increments. Yesterday...

... she measured up the hems and sewed, finished, and pressed the side seams. Today, we'll stitch the hems and sew on the bias tape for the snaps. I keep telling her she's a natural at sewing - it can't be helped after all the hours she spent on my lap "helping me" - and I'm not sure she believes me but...

... I've watched a lot of people sew and I've taught a lot of students and... she's a natural. Isn't this decal just the cutest thing for...

... the cutest baby in the world. YES YES ! ! ! !

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - sewing with my daughter