Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Defluffing, Eating Clean, And Not Enough Time

This week last year was one of the worst I have ever lived through and the 365 days that followed have been filled with roller coaster ups and downs related to my husband's health and to the impact of his health on mine. By the time the issue came to a head, I was already beyond exhausted and at first all I could do was cry and cry and cry. Thank God for the friends who were there for me. As sick as I was of crying, I can only imagine how they felt. Eventually...

... I caved and did something I almost never do - asked for medication. The anti-anxiety drug my doctor prescribed has worked wonders. In fact, there have been times since when a good cry was what I really wanted and it's darn hard to cry on those things. They've really helped me cope.

At first I wasn't hungry and actually lost weight and then - over the last few months - I've been packing on the pounds to the point that I've reached an all time high, numbers I've never seen before and hope to never see again. This is not the kind of "personal best" most of us are aiming for. Being this heavy is incredibly uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. Something has to change. I either need to tone up and lose weight or acquire an entirely new wardrobe because I'm at the edge of all my big clothes. I'd prefer to tone up and lose weight.

Yesterday, I researched the clean eating approach because it eliminates many of the foods I'm already sensitive too. If you've tried this way of eating, I'd love to hear your opinion. It seems it could also help with my goal to learn more about cooking and - from what I've read - it's important to incorporate exercise. Now that I have a dog that needs to be walked regularly, that should be less of a problem but I'm definitely a fair weather walker. Right now, we - as in Miss Chloe and I - have been taking a long walk in the mornings and a shorter one in the evenings. Hopefully, I can carry on with that when the cold weather comes.

One of the things that's so much better these last seven months is the work in the studio. Once the crying quite and I calmed down, I started putting a lot of emphasis on skill development including my two trips to Oregon. Before, I couldn't seem to push myself to do the work and the days were filled with endless, empty hours and now, I have so many ideas that there's not enough time in the day to get them all done. This is good. It's energizing. A fabulous bonus if you have to take drugs when you're not a take drugs kind of person.

Yesterday, I cut out the Vogue 8934 coat and then sewed up the underarm seams on the polka dot sweater that I'd painted the day before. Now that I have some experience, the next time I take a sweater apart I'll do a better job but right now, it's painted and back together and turned out not half bad for a sweater that was "ruined" by running dots. Once I pulled the tape off, there were a few places to touch up and in other areas I spritzed some black paint to imitate runs and achieve better balance of the grey tones. All in all, it's pretty great for a first try if I say so myself.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a now wearable sweater

We are made anxious by a life filled with too much velocity. But a life with too little velocity also hinders us. Great swaths of time before us can be intimidating. Relieved of any excuse, we feel pressured to perform. Instead, we are often most productive when we have limited time. 
- Julia Cameron. 


  1. In our house we began eating low carb 3 years ago. This is very similar to clean eating, but also minimizes carbs of all kinds, even complex carbs. Both DH and I lost weight and I've never felt better! A great book to read is Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

    1. I think I have that book - just need to check my e-reader to see but - apparently - I need to read it again. Thanks for the encouragement. Did you find it hard to stick to this program over the years or did it get easier?

  2. Hmmm.... I just wrote a comment, hit publish, and it disappeared. So, this might end up being a duplicate comment!

    Anyway, I wanted to say that sweets are the only thing I really miss. I love sugar! One or two big cups of tea daily,with sugar, was my part of my routine. I have found that it works best for me to stay away from sugar almost completely, with the exception of eating one or two pieces of dark chocolate every day. I do find sugar "addictive"; the more I eat, the more I want. I will make exceptions for things like birthday cake and so on, but I am always careful to go back to "no sugar" as soon as possible afterwards. If I don't, I quickly find myself struggling once again with sugar cravings.

    For the rest, no I don't find it hard to stick to this way of eating. We eat vegetables (with butter!), nuts, meat and dairy -- all very tasty and satisfying.

    I think the important thing is to find the level of carbohydrate that is right for your body. This is the amount of carbohydrate you can eat without storing fat, and the level at which craving are non-existent. For me this level is very low; for my husband it is much higher.

    Here is a site that I find very helpful: http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/


Thanks for commenting. I appreciate the feedback and the creative conversation.